HOOPS NEWS ARCHIVE

CLASS OF 2026 DEBUTS

September 5th, 2017

Kinder Dads, Class of 2026, made their HNS Hoops debut last night but came up short, losing to 6th Grade in a hard fought battle, 56-43. Despite the loss, Kinder players were in high spirits as they sported the trademark Kinder pink jerseys.

PRETTY JERSEYS GIVE PAUSE

September 5th, 2017

While 6th managed to hold off Kinder, 56-43, it wasn't that easy according to several 6th players. Center Tony Grizelj reported problems focusing.  "The pink jerseys are meant to be a gag, but it may actually be helping these new dads" said Grizelj.  In a picture of 6th's bench, you can clearly see the "Kinder Effect" where opposing players remain in a mesmerized state for 2 to 3 minutes at a time.

1ST AND 7TH COLLIDE IN EXCITING SEASON OPENER

August 27, 2017

After an undefeated 2016 regular season that ended with a bitter defeat to 2nd Grade in the championship game, 7th hoped to cleanse their palate with an opening win.  Alas, they were denied by a dynamic 1st Grade squad, 56-46.  In all, an exciting opener to a season which many say features the highest caliber basketball talent of recent years.

BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

August 27, 2017

Perhaps the highlight of opening night was the technological tour de force on display by 1st Grade. More than one member of 1st dazzled their opponents with an array of light emitting diodes (LED's) embedded in the soles of their metallic sneakers. It's unclear if this distracted 7th, many of whom still lace up Chuck Taylor All Stars. When asked as to whether he was blinded by the light, 7th Grade power forward Paul Borrelli responded "revved up like what?"

Several HNS members with jobs in the semiconductor equipment industry hailed the move as a disruptive technology that may provide significant revenue growth to companies throughout Silicon Valley.